Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
