It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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