im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Say something about gay babies.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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