so that wasnt chicken after all
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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