..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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