if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
