I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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