i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
