I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
