oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
