Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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