If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
