I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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