Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize