You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
