grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
