Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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