I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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