the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
