just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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