im drinking this country out of the recession.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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