i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
