she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She announced her abortion via fbk
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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