Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Life is so much better after having sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize