Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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