I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
