...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
