So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize