Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
