Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
