my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
