So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
