Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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