Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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