no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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