Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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