You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
