If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
