dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
