I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
