I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize