Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
