His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize