oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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