I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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