I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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