After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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