Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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