I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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