Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize