maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
