she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
