we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
