i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize