I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
