Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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