i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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