lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
