I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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