took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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