This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
