he wants to bone in the snuggie
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
