Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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