Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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