i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
