Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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