I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i think i just lost a toe
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize