Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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