so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
