dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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