Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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