What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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